On being a modern Slytherin in a world of anything but that

For a few years now, I have contended with a deep and dark secret of mine…

According to Pottermore, my Hogwarts house is Slytherin. When I first received the results of my sorting, I immediately reacted with disbelief at the Sorting Hat’s inability to recognize my niceness, smartness, and braveness. Why am I in the house with all the evil wizards and witches?

Immediately after, I created a new Pottermore account, ready to have a fresh crack at life. That is, until my second time sorting put me in SLYTHERIN yet again -.-

Dramatics aside, I knew that a 20 question online quiz could no more define my personality than a Myers-Briggs test telling me I’m an ENFP, or a buzzfeed quiz prophesying that my spirit vegetable is a rutabaga.

Still, it stung to be associated with Slytherin, the ambitious and cunning snakes who worked to no end to achieve what they wanted.

A few minutes a pondering led me to the frightening conclusion that the Slytherin motto embodied my mindset pretty well. I enjoyed pushing myself, struggling to learn and experience more, all in hopes of achieving something higher than the last milestone. Of course, I didn’t backstab muggles or plow people down along the way, which may have given me some bargaining points to sweet talk my way out of the green and silver house the next time I held a conversation with the Sorting Hat (scarlet and gold are much more to my taste).

The internal conflict of being a Slytherin in a world that pretty much roots for every house other led to some existential questions (hopefully a byproduct of adolescent crises that I will look back and cringe upon in ten years).

Three main questions arose:

IS AMBITION BAD? AM I EVIL? DOES ALWAYS WANTING TO ACHIEVE SOMETHING GREATER RESULT IN PERPETUAL DISCONTENTMENT AND NEVER BEING HAPPY WITH RIGHT NOW?

As of now, my answers to those questions in that order are no, no, and yes.

For the first question, the reason behind my ambition is a key factor. I may be working 3-4 jobs this summer, but is it to simply acquire as much money as possible? No, one of my jobs is to build my skills in computer science and gain some work experience, and the rest are more for fun and helping out people, such as tutoring, gardening, and teaching at the library. In the article, “Being a Slytherin in a Gryffindor World”, by Megan Poczos, she brings up the point that ambition should not be confused with selfishness, in which the former helps you towards your goals, and the latter only shows care for yourself. The goals that Slytherins so determinedly chase after may very well be for the benefit of others. Yes, we have empathy. Consider the other people, and help them on their way. Honestly, if everyone had drive combined with empathy, some more problems could be solved.

For the second question, the articles I read online when trying to deal with my Slytherin crisis helped a lot. In the article, “In Defense of Modern Slytherins, The House that is Getting A Bit Tired Of Your Sass,” Emma Lord recounts her own familiar revulsion of being cast into Slytherin, and then her later embracement of those attributes in her life. In her words, “ ..I remember all too well the junior high days when saying "I'm a Slytherin" was basically the equivalent of tattooing the words "social deviant" onto your forehead.” But later on, she realizes that the qualities that Potter’s Slytherin peers used for evil actually help her pursue the life and support the relationships that make her happy.

This ties into question three, on whether it is possible to be happy while being a Slytherin. Happy in terms of long term fulfillment, not just momentary bursts of “Wow! Rollercoasters are fun!” Sometimes, always looking for the next step on how to better right now can be exhausting. But isn’t that how advancement is formed? As of now, I haven’t been able to form a complete answer for the question of perpetually wanting “more”, in terms of quality over quantity. Being happy can seem to be a pretty difficult concept to grasp with a mindset of continuously looking forwards, especially in the position of having the resources and privilege to see something further in the first place.

For now, I think I will apply a bit of the Slytherin blood to search for that one passion that drives me crazy in trying to pursue, while enjoying the ride along the way. Honestly, there are a lot more supportive people open to helping you than you may realize.

I will probably elaborate on this more in a later blog post, but the guidance I received as an intern at work has really enabled me to visualize how one can be driven at a particular task, and then chill for other cases. It is finding a happy medium between seriously approaching your work, which yes, can be enjoyable, and learning to step back and trust others to carry out their part as well.

In any case, it doesn’t seem so bad to chase after something if you really want it. Neither is soaking up the knowledge from others who had similar experiences and passing their guidance along. “Manipulation” or “charisma” seems less so of a controlling skill than an effective and decent interaction if the intention is right.

As Sirius Black said, “The world isn’t split into good people and Death Eaters. We’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.”

We aren’t in a world of Slytherins and non-Slytherins. Ambition is not an inherently negative quality, and neither is striving for something greater. It all depends on how we focus the magic.

https://www.theodysseyonline.com/being-slytherin-in-gryffindor-world

https://www.bustle.com/articles/137548-in-defense-of-modern-slytherins-the-house-that-is-getting-a-bit-tired-of-your-sass

Things Learned at Girls State

I would like to give a big thank you to the American Legion Auxiliary Unit 585 for sponsoring my trip to Girls State.

Our city is from all over the state haha.

On the surface, Girls State is a program for rising high school senior girls across California to convene for one week at Claremont McKenna college. During that week, we learn and practice the process of government on the city, county and state level. We run for government positions, develop platforms for our political parties, and practice good citizenship by voting for candidates and sending legislation through our senators and assemblywomen. By simulating our system of government in an environment of over 500 girls, we are empowered to find our voice in the democratic process, as well as a greater sense of patriotism and duty to the country.

The City of Muir

Delving deeper within the week of Girls State, we find that living with 500 girls is not as bad as we might have anticipated. Every person walks in with fears of not fitting in, or clashing with the stereotypical “mean girl.” However, those worries and tropes simply do not exist at Girls State. After the initial awkwardness of saying “hello,” the craziest thing that exists is the strength of the bond you develop with your 30 city-mates, as well as the others in Girls State. Despite starting out as complete strangers, the friendships made during Girls State are startlingly permanent.

Kelsey County meeting

The sheer opportunities presented during that week of Girls State can be overwhelming. How the week goes for you is truly what you make of it, so I followed the advice of trying to choose early how I want to be involved with the other citizens. Coming into the program, I felt apprehensive of having to perform speeches in front of many people, especially since I was not the most politically savvy person. Accordingly, I looked towards more of the local positions, so that I could begin contributing early on and slowly build my confidence in speaking. While I did have my doubts on whether I was “not applying myself” by not “aiming high” for a state position, I reassured myself that being the city editor and working on the paper would allow me to observe the developments of Girls State while getting to meet citizens outside my city. While I could have pushed myself into a more vulnerable position by running for a higher position, and while that would have definitely challenged me to grow, I instead found another way to challenge myself and apply my strengths. By no means was it an easy feat to compile a full newspaper in a short amount of time.

Accepting my style of working hard in the background and supporting the other girls by helping their speeches and being their Verification Deputies during filing for government positions was strange at first. I tended to agree with others that the person on the stage is the only one who could be a strong leader. However, working with the girls on the paper and the girls in my city taught me that just as effective communication skills and leadership were required for important functions not necessarily performed on a stage. A voice heard from an article in the paper can be as powerful as the voice from the mic during a party platform meeting.

The Girls State of Mind Team

Each day of Girls State had my favorite moments. Some highlights of the week included working as the Editor-In-Chief for the newspaper, The Girls State of Mind, and listening to guest speakers Michelle Jackman, Kathryn Barger (Supervisor of LA County), and Betty Yee (California’s Controller). Party meetings where the Tories and Whigs had discussions on contemporary topics such as climate change, education, gun regulation, and health care were also one of my favorite parts of the week, as the level of civil and meaningful discussion that I engaged in was amazing. The most joyful, yet bittersweet, parts of the week happened near the end of Girls State, during the light ceremony and closing slide show.

Circle of Light to honor veterans

A few take aways from Girls State:

• The environment is overall so judgment free that belting out Taylor Swift songs during General Assembly is not only accepted, but encouraged.

• If you don’t win something, you learn from it and ask “What’s Next?” Or, if you feel dissatisfied with your current situation, ask “How can I make it better?”

• People are genuinely interested in what you say, so there is no need to fear glazed eyes or worry about sounding dumb. Literally within hours of arriving at Girls State, my city knew about my craziness for coding. During platform discussions, the most passionate speakers did not have to be the loudest. And on the stage, when a girl forgot her lines and froze, the entire audience cheered and waved spirit fingers in support.
• Each day I tried to apply one of the 5 P’s: Passion, Pride (in one’s work), Persistence, Professionalism, and Patience. More motivational processes included getting it done, getting it right, getting along, getting acknowledged, and having fun.
• Helping others will always be returned.
• Being around a lot of ASB Presidents, club leaders, and non-profit runners may make you feel insecure for approximately 2 seconds, until they show their awe at your own accomplishments and ask to learn more or input their own ideas.  The experience is strangely crushing and uplifting.
• Shout out to all the amazing staff writers who made it my best editor experience ever. Each person was already a great writer, unafraid to contribute ideas, and willing to take on more responsibility to meet our deadline. It was extraordinarily efficient to divide up the teams and produce a paper. Please come back to Mills to work with me :)

Each day begins with a flag raising.

From the tone of this post, it probably seems that I was in Girls State for more of the people than the politics. I thought so as well, when I was first invited by the ALA to attend. Truthfully, I had been a bit cynical about the government, and how it is able to enact positive change on our society. It seemed like government was a process of simply going through the motions, like paying for taxes, albeit every four years we hear recycled promises from politicians in exchange for votes.

Truthfully, I cannot say that Girls State has inspired me to run for state government. However, it has taught me that good politics is ultimately about the people, and how voting is not a insignificant as it seems. Politics is also what influences our education systems, our court trials, and standards of living. So even if I don’t see myself as a future politician, what is important is that I find something I really really really care about, and then work with it to help the world.

The best roomate in the world, Hannah.

Final Note:

At school rallies, I have not always been the loudest person. Sure, I had always dressed in class colors and refrained from doing my homework in the back, but actively leading cheers fell a little ways outside my zone. Not anymore, thanks to the numerous cheers and chants I learned at Girls State :)

• https://goo.gl/photos/FuZRoRkSJaTorEGA9

• https://goo.gl/photos/NUpX7jamiPdhmFFT7

• https://goo.gl/photos/MbRDw7pzyDL54WwYA

Final Final Note:  

One of my favorite talent show acts! https://goo.gl/photos/akdpT2BtoHKLbqhg7

Landed back in NorCal weather <3

#MUUIRRRRR