Another break, come and gone.
A reflection of the past year would be appropriate, but enough retrospection goes on in my head that I don't think it warrants a separate blog post.
Rather, I'll set a goal to attack life at a sustainable pace with a bullet journal (read: glorified to-do list) in hand.
I suppose my break was semi-productive. I got to finally build a new portfolio site, hike a few trails with my parents, make omurice, and read lots of books.
During a luscious lapse of doing absolutely nothing, I watched a Korean web-drama, titled "연애 강요하는 사회", or "A Society Obsessed with Love."
It was a rather timely dose of chicken soup for a cynical, albeit inexperienced, soul. It basically told the story of a college student, Han Sa-rang (whose name ironically means love), and her appreciation of her life as a single person.
With friends, co-workers, and general society pressuring her into finding a relationship, she questions whether the life she currently enjoys is not a fulfilled state of being.
Outwardly, it is clear that the answer is no, a relationship is not a requirement for a complete life. But I appreciated the drama's depiction of Sa-rang's descent into self-doubt, her attempt at having a relationship, and her ultimate return to appreciating the life she led independently.
Part of the appeal of "A Society Obsessed with Love" was Sa-rang's adamant defense of her lifestyle, which included trying out new recipes, being a cat mom, practicing photography, working part-time, and doing well in her studies. She appears immune to the commentary of her peers, who wonder if her busy life is the reason for the lack of a relationship, yet their judgment still hurts.
She simply feels more comfortable on her own. Nonetheless, she tries out a relationship for the sake of doing so. Though both her and her boyfriend were respectful and kind, Sa-rang felt as if she were losing the enjoyable aspects of her life.
As this was a drama, the catalyst for her breakup clearly had to be her cat suffering a serious medical emergency, leading Sa-rang to question her priorities in life. After a mutual end to the relationship, she undeniably felt regret for hurting a person who cared for her. But she was free to resume the life she chose for herself.
She baked an apology gift for her cat (lol), started working out with her roommate, joined an exchange program to Canada, and thought about what she really wants to do in the future. She had confidence in not dating, and felt fulfillment in cherishing everything around her and living for herself, as herself.
In all honesty, my thoughts on the matter may change as time passes. But for now, it was a reassuring message that there is no wrong on focusing on a future for oneself, and living happily in independence. So I'll start 2019 from there, working through school, and trying my best to maintain a life with happiness and health. :)
Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F64yFFnZfkI
Book: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dead_Man%27s_Folly
Trail: https://www.parks.ca.gov/?page_id=517