For a few years now, I have contended with a deep and dark secret of mine…
According to Pottermore, my Hogwarts house is Slytherin. When I first received the results of my sorting, I immediately reacted with disbelief at the Sorting Hat’s inability to recognize my niceness, smartness, and braveness. Why am I in the house with all the evil wizards and witches?
Immediately after, I created a new Pottermore account, ready to have a fresh crack at life. That is, until my second time sorting put me in SLYTHERIN yet again -.-
Dramatics aside, I knew that a 20 question online quiz could no more define my personality than a Myers-Briggs test telling me I’m an ENFP, or a buzzfeed quiz prophesying that my spirit vegetable is a rutabaga.
Still, it stung to be associated with Slytherin, the ambitious and cunning snakes who worked to no end to achieve what they wanted.
A few minutes a pondering led me to the frightening conclusion that the Slytherin motto embodied my mindset pretty well. I enjoyed pushing myself, struggling to learn and experience more, all in hopes of achieving something higher than the last milestone. Of course, I didn’t backstab muggles or plow people down along the way, which may have given me some bargaining points to sweet talk my way out of the green and silver house the next time I held a conversation with the Sorting Hat (scarlet and gold are much more to my taste).
The internal conflict of being a Slytherin in a world that pretty much roots for every house other led to some existential questions (hopefully a byproduct of adolescent crises that I will look back and cringe upon in ten years).
Three main questions arose:
IS AMBITION BAD? AM I EVIL? DOES ALWAYS WANTING TO ACHIEVE SOMETHING GREATER RESULT IN PERPETUAL DISCONTENTMENT AND NEVER BEING HAPPY WITH RIGHT NOW?
As of now, my answers to those questions in that order are no, no, and yes.
For the first question, the reason behind my ambition is a key factor. I may be working 3-4 jobs this summer, but is it to simply acquire as much money as possible? No, one of my jobs is to build my skills in computer science and gain some work experience, and the rest are more for fun and helping out people, such as tutoring, gardening, and teaching at the library. In the article, “Being a Slytherin in a Gryffindor World”, by Megan Poczos, she brings up the point that ambition should not be confused with selfishness, in which the former helps you towards your goals, and the latter only shows care for yourself. The goals that Slytherins so determinedly chase after may very well be for the benefit of others. Yes, we have empathy. Consider the other people, and help them on their way. Honestly, if everyone had drive combined with empathy, some more problems could be solved.
For the second question, the articles I read online when trying to deal with my Slytherin crisis helped a lot. In the article, “In Defense of Modern Slytherins, The House that is Getting A Bit Tired Of Your Sass,” Emma Lord recounts her own familiar revulsion of being cast into Slytherin, and then her later embracement of those attributes in her life. In her words, “ ..I remember all too well the junior high days when saying "I'm a Slytherin" was basically the equivalent of tattooing the words "social deviant" onto your forehead.” But later on, she realizes that the qualities that Potter’s Slytherin peers used for evil actually help her pursue the life and support the relationships that make her happy.
This ties into question three, on whether it is possible to be happy while being a Slytherin. Happy in terms of long term fulfillment, not just momentary bursts of “Wow! Rollercoasters are fun!” Sometimes, always looking for the next step on how to better right now can be exhausting. But isn’t that how advancement is formed? As of now, I haven’t been able to form a complete answer for the question of perpetually wanting “more”, in terms of quality over quantity. Being happy can seem to be a pretty difficult concept to grasp with a mindset of continuously looking forwards, especially in the position of having the resources and privilege to see something further in the first place.
For now, I think I will apply a bit of the Slytherin blood to search for that one passion that drives me crazy in trying to pursue, while enjoying the ride along the way. Honestly, there are a lot more supportive people open to helping you than you may realize.
I will probably elaborate on this more in a later blog post, but the guidance I received as an intern at work has really enabled me to visualize how one can be driven at a particular task, and then chill for other cases. It is finding a happy medium between seriously approaching your work, which yes, can be enjoyable, and learning to step back and trust others to carry out their part as well.
In any case, it doesn’t seem so bad to chase after something if you really want it. Neither is soaking up the knowledge from others who had similar experiences and passing their guidance along. “Manipulation” or “charisma” seems less so of a controlling skill than an effective and decent interaction if the intention is right.
As Sirius Black said, “The world isn’t split into good people and Death Eaters. We’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.”
We aren’t in a world of Slytherins and non-Slytherins. Ambition is not an inherently negative quality, and neither is striving for something greater. It all depends on how we focus the magic.
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